Gwyneth Paltrow is getting real about what its like to be a stepmom.

The Goop founder, who has two children with her ex, Chris Martin, recently took on the role of bonus parent when she remarried in 2018 . Her husband, producer Brad Falchuk, also has two kids of his own.

I did find it really hard at first, Paltrow said while answering fans during an Instagram Q&A on Wednesday.

You know, theres no book on this nobody tells us what to do, she said of becoming a blended family of six. And, in fact, all of the existing media around what a stepmother is casts us is like, in this evil, villainous light.

The actor added, So, its kind of like trying to avoid land mines. And then youre going into a family with dynamics, and you know, theres all kinds of fear around loss and What does this person mean?

For myself, the minute I decided and fully embodied the idea that my stepkids were my kids and I love them just as much, and I gave them the same rules and boundaries and just kind of whole-heartedly went for it, then the easier the whole thing got, Paltrow said, adding that things are now pretty great.