Oliver Hudson is getting candid about the early days of his relationship with Erinn Bartlett, his wife of 18 years.

On the April 8 episode of his Sibling Rivalry podcast , the Nashville star revealed that hed been repeatedly unfaithful to Bartlett before the couple was married.

When I got engaged, something happened psychologically, and I spiraled, he explained in conversation with fellow actor Robyn Lively, who is Blake Livelys older sister. I spiraled, and I was unfaithful, and I was cheating, and I was crazy.

He went on to note that he never got caught, but instead acknowledged his behavior in conversation with Bartlett before the pair tied the knot.

I told her everything because I couldnt live with myself and get married and be married and have children with this sort of weight, he said. I was crying, like Oh, my God, who am I?

Describing Bartlett as an amazing woman, Hudson also credited his mother, Goldie Hawn , with offering her support amid challenges in his relationship.