Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X , the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
honestly obsessed w the high drama of toddlers. my 2 year old fell & bumped her knee and she looked up at me like an ailing Victorian child & said will I ever walk again??????????
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) April 9, 2024
My teen is taking the SAT today. As we were walking out the door, I asked her if she needed a special pencil. She looked at me and said We take it on computers. The air hung quiet between us. Oh I said. Huh I said. Its the first year she added If it makes you feel any better.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) April 10, 2024
Bluey referenced mitochondria and I immediately said to my 4yo the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell like a sleeper agent who just heard their activation phrase
— Jax Philosopher Queen (@Diamond_Jax) April 11, 2024
I did the age old threat to my 3 year old that if she didnt pick up her toys all over her room that I would throw them away,.. this girl looked me in the eyes & said do what you gotta do, have fun
— (@jelly_ehles) April 11, 2024
MAAM!!!!!!
Not to brag or anything, but I can cause a tantrum just by giving my kid exactly what he asked for.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) April 11, 2024
4-year-old was saying good night before bed and she said I love you Mama youre the most beautiful princess in the world, and then turned to her dad and said Youre the butler. She gets it.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) April 9, 2024
I told him we have stairs and he said he likes stairs
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 10, 2024
-my kid, really selling this playdate to his friend
Preschool teacher: So when it comes to his school pictures, you might be disappointed lol I cant wait to see these
— Jene (@jdesmondharris) April 11, 2024
I took my toddler to a birthday party and before we left I told him about all the activities they'd be doing. Apparently, the only thing he cared about was cupcakes because he spent the whole ride whispering "cupcakes" to himself.
— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) April 11, 2024
Sorry Im late I had to drive to the reservoir to fill my daughters Stanley cup.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) April 11, 2024
My 3yo told us we should sell the baby to another family after she knocked down his block tower, which is honestly so great because he used to tell us to throw her away in the garbage and now he at least thinks shes valuable enough that someone would pay for her.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 12, 2024
No one:
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) April 10, 2024
Absolutely no one:
No one at all:
My 3yo: MOMMY! MY FINGERS DO NOT TASTE GOOD!
me: ill always love you
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 11, 2024
7: yeah same, especially when youre dead
me:
7: what? ill visit your grave every day!
Damaged my eyes by staring directly at 5th grade math homework
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) April 9, 2024
Went to the zoo yesterday and got to hear my kid and their friends argue I saw the animal first! at each stop, in case you were thinking of doing that soon.
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) April 11, 2024
Not sure if life hack exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) April 11, 2024
People have genuine worries about life, and Im over here always in fear that my toddler, who refuses to let me cut his jagged toenail, will throw his feet around at night when sleeping next to me and poke my eyes out.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) April 10, 2024
Parents of toddlers are the biggest gamblers like when your kid asks to help but youve just finished so you say something like: Im done mixing the ingredients but I really need someone to watch them bake, and then you hold your breath hoping they dont call your bluff
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) April 7, 2024
Thoughts and prayers for 9 who we "forced" to change out of the joggers he's been wearing for 7 days straight and into some clean pants this morning
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) April 8, 2024
I took a few days off to spend time with my teen on spring break and by spend time I mean listen to him yell at his Xbox.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) April 8, 2024
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make even as little as $2 goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.