Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X , the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
My 8 year old asked if Id seen his water bottle and I said it was next to the couch. He started to walk off then paused and asked, the couch for sitting or the couch for laundry? and the accuracy of the question stung a little.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 29, 2024
An underrated parenting hack is that kids love branding. My 3yo won't drink milk when I offer it except when I say "here's your cold, fresh milk"
— sarah (@sarahradz_) April 29, 2024
I took my 6yo to softball practice and then realized it was canceled. My 6yo smiled at me, "Well, look at that, we yelled at each other for nothing."
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) April 30, 2024
My daughter just burped loud as hell in Olive Garden and Im like WOW have some decorum and shes like that word doesnt effect me cause I dont know what it means
— MOMMA $PICE (@ItsMrsPlugg) April 27, 2024
Okay.
Moms in TV ads are almost always wearing this exact outfit and yet Ive never seen a human woman wear this outfit in real life. pic.twitter.com/1f0sbcSBDe
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) April 28, 2024
My 8-year-old got his expander and braces taken off and hes supposed to wear a retainer at night. He lost the retainer by Day 3, and I told him to find it because Id rather not pay for another one. He looked startled and said We PAY for this stuff??
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) April 28, 2024
My 10 y/o son has a lot of friends who show up on our doorstep but by far my most fave lil dude has got to be the one who always appears holdin a fistful of ham
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) April 30, 2024
My daughter asked me if the tooth fairy would only give money for *her* teeth and Im a little concerned
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 2, 2024
In case you ever wanted to feel better about your housekeeping skills: my son just walked in and asked why I was making it smell like his birthday party. All I had done was mopped. Also, his birthday is in July.
— Lindsay Fickas (@lindsayfickas) April 28, 2024
Im gonna say no to everything today.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) April 28, 2024
my 5yo really setting the tone for the day
Parenting experts never warn you that one day you'll offer to let your son borrow one of your ties to match the suit he's wearing for prom and he'll respond by asking you if you have anything that's not from the 1900s
— Dad Moon Rising (@raoulvilla) April 29, 2024
My husband works from home and our toddler knocks on his office door prob 100 times a day to ask if she can see pictures of raccoons on his computer. Hes never acted annoyed. It makes me cry lmfao
— Tiger Lily (@mypillowgorl) May 1, 2024
I asked my 6yo if she wants to skip school on her birthday and she's having a hard time deciding because she doesn't want to miss out on the birthday sticker they get from their teacher.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) April 29, 2024
Explained to a 7 yo that our tv shows were only run at a specific time and if you missed it, you just missed it. After processing this horror she asked but you could find it on your iPad? What followed was the millennial version of in my day I walked miles barefoot to school
— Jax Philosopher Queen (@Diamond_Jax) May 1, 2024
When I was a kid, I used to wonder why my granddad would just sit in his favorite chair and not do anything but stare in space but now I totally get it
— Trey (@treydayway) May 2, 2024
One-year-olds do not care about your carefully arranged baby activities or the toys designed by professionals. One-year-olds wish to fling wide the portals of the kitchen cabinetry and make it a temple to Chaos. The children yearn for the rummage
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) April 28, 2024
When did grocery shopping become something fun to do on a weekend, what have I become
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) April 28, 2024
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make even as little as $2 goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.