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Tweets Of The Week
"Do you panic that youre choosing the wrong answer during an eye exam or are you normal."
"All this time I thought I was a good person but how I react to slow walkers in front of me would really suggest that Im absolutely not a good person"
"i have the opposite of fomo like leave me out of all of your plans please."
"Air and Space Museum should have a plane emergency slide you can go down just to get to experience it"
WHAT'S HAPPENING
"The women's bathroom at a club is the closest we'll ever get to Barbie world"
"no he was 3 boyfriends ago, my great great boyfriend"
"the irish catholic goodbye is when you leave a party and then feel really really guilty about it"
"i am addicted to saying 'wow its soo nice out' when its so nice out"
"I hate when doctors knock before they come in. Like what do you want me to say 'who is it?'"
"(Seconds before getting raptured) okay so phone, keys, wallet"
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