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Tweets Of The Week
"I hate when doctors knock before they come in. Like what do you want me to say 'who is it?'"
"(Seconds before getting raptured) okay so phone, keys, wallet"
"It takes 16 muscles to turn over and fall back asleep. Follow me for more fitness tips."
"I hate how I am a 'I have an appointment at 4pm so I can't do anything all day' type of person"
WHAT'S HAPPENING
"So many people breaking up right now Pre Valentines Day layoffs you might say..."
"Me at 1 day pregnant: omg the baby is craving a vacation in the south of France"
"hey sorry for being so anxious earlier i had no idea everything would be fine"
"It's amazing how much I accomplish around the house under the threat of someone coming over"
"I suck so bad at sexting I'm like 'that can be arranged'"
"Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice"
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